„Rimming“ may sound like a neat skateboard trick. And „toss the salad“ may sound like a simple cooking instruction. But actually, both are euphemisms for a sex act that can bring big time pleasure: analingus.
And though people are more open to talking about it now, butt play isn’t anything new. It’s been a thing long before Nicki Minaj was rapping about oral-anal in „Anaconda,“ or Desi made love to Marni’s bum with his tongue in Girls.
Still, it wasn’t until peach play entered the cultural zeitgeist that rimming started to get the attention it deserves. But here’s the thing: A sex act as pleasurable as analingus could always get more attention (and experimenters), since rimming can be pleasurable to receive and/or give.
„As a stand-alone act, receiving Match.com-dating rimming can be just as or more pleasurable than any other kind of anal sex,“ says Carol Queen, PhD, sexologist with sex toy company Good Vibrations. „Giving anal-oral can also be hot because you’re turning someone on, doing a service act for them, and it’s super naughty.“
Intrigued? Ahead, renowned sexologists and educators share all the intel on exactly what rimming entails. (Just be warned: You’ll be aching to bend over or bend someone over after reading about it.)
Wait, what is a rim job?
Rimming is the colloquial term for the act of licking in and around the (ahem) rim of another person’s asshole. Also known as analingus, it’s oral sex performed on a butt, explains Queen.
„Rimming often involves circling the entrance of the ass,“ she says. But just as is true with oral on vulvas and penises, there are lots of options for oral-anal play, she explains. „Tongue penetration can be part of it, too,“ she says.
What is the point of a rim job?
„It’s definitely a legitimate source of sexual pleasure for many people,“ says Kimberly McBride, PhD, Associate Professor of Public Health at the University of Toledo, who’s extensively researched anal sex. In fact, she encourages people not to „shy away from that kind of an exploration because it can be very pleasurable.“
Why does it feel so good, exactly? „There are a lot of erotic nerve endings in the anus, so people can really find themselves having a different, better orgasm from rimming,“ explains Joe Kort, PhD, a certified sex therapist in Royal Oak, Michigan. Plus, you can even get more aroused than usual since the area’s typically unexplored, he adds.
Oh and btw, it’s totally possible to orgasm from analingus without penetrative sex, according to both Kort and McBride. But even if a ride to rim town doesn’t bring you a Big O, incorporating it into your sexual repertoire can still enhance the overall experience. According to McBride, rimming can lead to more intense vaginal orgasm. Noted!
For some pleasure-seekers, rimming can be psychologically arousing, too, because despite the fact that Nicki has rapped about it, bum play, in a sense, still remains taboo. And taboos can be sexy because they activate the
1. Introduce the idea of rimming to your partner(s).
Surprise parties can be fun. But a surprise peach parting? Nope! Consent is essential to giving a rim job-and, obviously, receiving one, too.
Your bedroom beau isn’t a mind reader, which is why if you’re interested in rimming, McBride recommends introducing the idea of „tossing the salad“ when you’re fully clothed. „It’s always better to talk about a new sexual act in a non-sexualized moment,“ she explains. (It feels less intimidating that way.)
In fact, McBride recommends having this discussion well in advance of getting naked, so your partner has enough time and space to decide whether or not they want to add rimming to the menu.